In 2023, I hit a big life milestone: a decade of living away from Malaysia, the place where I grew up. It sparked a lengthy and turbulent period of reflection which led me to realise that I’ve been feeling this sense of alienation from my own culture for some time, and I was saddened by the thought that I might have unintentionally lost something awfully important along the way while I was so blindly focused on assimilating to the British society and telling stories about other people’s heritage. As I tried to untangle these complex feelings, I became aware of my growing desire to reconnect with my roots and to find comfort in seeking out and immersing myself in realities that reflect the notions of belonging, cultural resilience, and the spirit of place that define it. This marks the start to my most personally significant project to date — ‘Ancient Whispers, Modern Echoes’.

In my quest, I landed on the Nine Emperor Gods festival, a celebration deeply ingrained in the Chinese diaspora of Southeast Asia and a cornerstone of our cultural heritage as Malaysian Chinese. The 10-day festival is a blend of Taoist, Buddhist, and folk practices; it is made by the community, to serve the spiritual needs of the community. Here, vegetarianism, processions, and spirit mediumship converge in a profound homage to celestial deities, encapsulating the complexity and beauty of our traditions. Out of the many temples celebrating this festival throughout Malaysia, I chose to document it at Kau Ong Yah Temple. It is the oldest site known for this observance in the country, steeped in historical significance and an unwavering commitment to preserve our heritage.

Over ten days spent at the temple, I sought to immerse myself in the festival's myriad facets, moving beyond the dominant visual narratives surrounding it that often centred on the large-scale processions. I experienced not only the vibrant chaos of the spectacles but also took notice of the quiet, everyday rituals and the intimate moments behind the scenes. Starting out initially as a curious but determined stranger, I was welcomed into the community over the festival period, and eventually granted access to some otherwise off-limits areas where I witnessed some of the defining moments that made this series. Observing the devotees from all walks of life, I was captivated by the unique ways each participated in this sacred communal event, highlighting the diverse tapestry of our cultural identity. It was the subtle, often overlooked gestures of devotion that unfolded in the periphery of the festival's climactic moments that truly moved me. These moments, small yet profound, guided the focus of my project towards the moments and scenes that speak to our universal need for spiritual comfort and community. It is an ode to the symbolic richness inherent in every act of devotion.

This project is the most challenging I had undertaken in my photography journey so far; it was testing me physically, psychologically and artistically. Throughout the time that I was working on this series, I was constantly hit by waves of emotions: some were once familiar but forgotten, while some took me by surprise as they were completely new to me. For the most part, I felt comforted from being surrounded by a community of people sharing my heritage and are unquestioningly proud of it. Sitting side-by-side with this was also a sense of irredeemable loss and nostalgia for all that I knew by heart growing up. Departing from my usual tendency to shy away from taking up space in my visual narrative, I wanted to create a body of work that is rooted in my personal history and transcends a literal documentation of a religious festival. By weaving together the visual and the visceral, I hope to offer a glimpse into the resilience of cultural identity and traditions, the powerful role of rituals and communal memory in sustaining our heritage, even as we navigate the complexities of belonging in the modern world.